As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
