Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
