whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize