Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dick very happy bro
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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