we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
