You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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