Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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