I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
