Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize