Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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