you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
