Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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