meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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