Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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