Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
