Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
