I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
