My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
