He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
