Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
