weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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