He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
