Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
