we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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