the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize