I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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