remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
