Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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