why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
