I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
