So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
