Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
