your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
