yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
