The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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