The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
