We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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