What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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