No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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