So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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