And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize