Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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