Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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