i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Pooping to opera.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
