none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
In America we eat man semen.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize