i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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