Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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