All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
