Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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