She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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