Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize