Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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