Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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