I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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