Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
