He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
