I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
